My birthday was a few weeks ago, and with that came gifts from family members. Then, due to common courtesy, I am expected to send out thank you notes or emails to those who sent me those gifts. I don't mind that, in theory. I am grateful that they thought of me (as some family members who won't be mentioned often forget) and that they spent the time, money, and effort to get me the gift.
However, this year, my mother has told me to do the thank yous electronically. Sure, it's easier for me. Sure, it costs less. But I have one major problem with that. It makes it too easy for them to respond. And with the responses could potentially come attempts to continue the conversation.
I love my family and all, but if I tell you what activities I'm involved in now and how school's going, what am I supposed to talk to you about around Christmastime? One of the reasons we gather for holiday events is to catch up on each other’s' lives. We can't disrupt that, now can we?
I also, in general, just hate writing thank yous because I'm legitimately bad at it. In real life, I'm not the most eloquent. But when it comes to saying thank you or expressing any sort of gratitude or feeling or anything toward anyone, I just sound artificial. I can't give compliments without sounding phony. I can't actually express my appreciation without sounding bogus. I'm just no good at that whole "communicating my feelings" thing. When I try to put it down on paper, it doesn't get any better. I still feel as though the words sound fake and forced.
So while I understand the necessity of thank you cards/emails. I still detest them. I want to express my thankfulness, but I don't want to do it in a way that the recipient might feel is actually devoid of those feelings and cause them to think that I'm just writing them because my mommy told me to.
Hopefully, I'll soon get too old for this stuff, and I'll only get gifts from my parents. Then I'll only need to write one thank you letter.
Life as a teenager is so hard.
