Oh the weather outside is frightful

I don't know where you are, where you are from, or where you are going. But if I could give you one piece of advice, that would be this: don't go back to Iowa, get out of Iowa, or don't go to Iowa.

There are many reasons to go to Iowa. There are also many reasons to leave Iowa. Overall though, there is one huge reason to stay very far away from this glorious cornfield of a state. The weather.

"What are you talking about?" you ask. "Isn't Iowa weather perfect for growing corn or cows or potatoes or whatever it is you hicks do?" 

Goodness gracious no. Weather in Iowa is about as unpredictable and unstable as a twelve girl sleepover. A typical November/Decemeber day goes as follows.

7:00 AM: Freezing. What is this even. I'm pretty sure I'm breathing in solid oxygen it's so cold.
10:00 AM: Wow, it's pretty nice out here. Maybe I'll take off that parka I had to wear this morning.
12:00 PM: Just kidding, where are my hat and mittens?
3:00 PM: Why did I even wear jeans today? I should be wearing shorts now. Anyone want to hit up the pool?
5:00 PM: Oh look at that snow. It's quite pretty.
8:00 PM: The news station just issued a report saying that you may freeze to death if you stay outside for more than three minutes.

Weather's pretty unpredictable in Iowa. Even from year to year, we never know what to expect for our seasons. Some years, winter starts in October. Others we don't get our first snowfall until January. Spring is pretty much just an extended winter, with a lot more slush and muck. Summer is a mix of rain and humidity. Fall is our really only constant season in that the leaves always eventually fall off. 

Take this weekend for example. Yesterday, there was almost freezing temperatures, rain, and overcast clouds. Today, it was clear as your mother's disdain for everything you enjoy. Nice temps, not a drop of rain at all, and certainly no snow, despite being the second of December. 

So if you love unpredictability, being surprised, and having to change how many layers you wear hourly, then Iowa is the place for you! Otherwise, I suggest you move to Arizona. Sure it's a bit hot, but at least you know it is always going to be hot.