He's going the distance, he's going for speed

I usually consider myself a good driver. I use my turn signal, I watch out for other drivers, I only go five miles over the speed limit at most. Driving is fun and as long as you do it safely, I have no problem with you or your car. But accidents are scary, and many people either have not experienced them or have somehow miraculously forgotten how terrifying they can be. 

Just today, we were driving to Minnesota. Long distance driving is somewhat safer compared to street driving. But man, there are some idiots out there. There are many reasons why I might choose to hate someone, and about 68% of those reasons are the way you drive. 

1. Not using turn signals: The reason you have turn signals is to alert other drivers as to what your next move is. No one is a mind reader, and it's your responsibility to let others know if you are going to be changing directions. I know, it's so much more effort to move your hand to turn it on and if it doesn't automatically turn off, it's such an ordeal to have to do it manually. But seriously. Just use your turn signals. 
2. Driving under the speed limit: Hey guess what. It doesn't get you bonus points. That trooper sitting on the side of the road isn't going to give you a negative ticket for going five under. All it does is piss other drivers off. I will tailgate you if you go under the speed limit. The only time I consider it acceptable is if the driving conditions are hazardous, like rain, snow, or fog.
3. Not using lights when necessary: Let's just be grownups here. If you can't see your speedometer, then your lights should be on. If you can see stars, YOUR LIGHTS SHOULD BE ON. It's common sense people, come on. 
4. Not being in the correct lane: They teach this in drivers ed, I can assure you. And it's also common sense. On high speed roads, such as the interstate, slower traffic drives in the right most lane, and the left ones are essentially for passing. Don't just drive the speed limit down the left most lane. You will see lots of birds.  
5. Not keeping speed consistent:  That pointy thing that points at numbers on your dashboard, that tells you how fast you're going. And if you push your foot down or let your foot up, your speed is going to change. So try super hard to keep your little footsie still and you just might be able to keep your speed consistent and make the world a better place. 
6. Cutting people off: You might not have even cut me off. Nonetheless, I now consider you close to a spawn of Satan and should have your license revoked. If you cut ME off, you are Satan and should just be sent promptly back to Hell. It's like that one saying: "Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." Don't endanger my life and my passengers' lives because you should have been in a different lane.